Three Wishes, cover

Three Wishes (December 2010)


Ancient Geometry, IF in Bristol,

Tools & Trinkets, Three Wishes, Boiling Kettles/Frozen Pipes,

What I Love at Christmas.

Boiling Kettles – Frozen Pipes

Land of hope and glory, history most gory,
At Christmas on TV, such dowdy majesty.
So straight-laced and po-faced,
There amongst the evergreens and by my sparkling conifer,
Quite frankly I’ve just gone off her,
Rambling on about the bloody commonwealth,
And modestly concealing her enormous wealth.

Who watches such entertainment moribund?
Except per chance, those up in the Cheviots of Northumberland,
Ruddy faced county types,
Who take a break from boiling kettles and thawing frozen pipes.

This awful fuddy duddy, has silver hair a hideous confection,
So let’s give things a new direction,
Perhaps Brucey could have camped it up a bit –
But no, on and on she rabbits,
Whilst we glimpse the gilded world that she inhabits –
And are we grateful – No!
So maybe we should give Prince Charles a go,
He’d make a better job of it, even speaking off the cuff,
But away with royals, I’ve had enough.
So bring us some national treasure,
To cheer us through the shortest days and bitter weather.
What I want to hear next year,
Is writhing Sir Robert Plant scream out “Babe I’ve been the best of fools!”
Accompanied by Jimmy’s deafening guitar riffs
And no more news of toffs, debutantes, royal tiffs and rifts.
Or how about Sting,
Bringing tears to my eyes, as he softly sings,
About wet bus stops and how his car is warm and dry
And desert sands and fields of gold.
Or let’s hear the nation’s favourite verse - bows of burning gold,
 Tigers shining in the night – love that never falters,
Or arrows of desire, so all of us can aspire,
To Britain’s land of hope and glory
As we put right our national Christmas story.